Time for Aliana and Nikki to say goodbye forever to their Detsky Dom

The time had come. We were finally herded together, and suddenly, out of the blue, we realized that Aliana's two older sister's, Luba and Angela had been notified of the adoption, and had been sent to the orphanage to say their goodbyes. I don't remember which one, but one was NOT happy at all - (I don't blame her) and she cried and cried and cried. (They both cried). I tried to translate that we would be good to her, and give her a good home... it was obvious that Aliana wanted to be with us, and loved us, but she was so torn with her sister's there. With Nikki, it was somewhat different. Svet wasn't anywhere to be seen, and Natasha watched nervously until the end, and so just before we left, I hugged her and NIkki together, and pulled my watch off and gave it to her. She was crying then, and it was breaking my heart. Just before we got in the van to leave, another surprise!! We found out that both times we had been there, Aliana had a brother there named Hassan. He was thirteen!!! So, I marched him over and had him hug his sister goodbye also. Parting was such bitter sorrow for Aliana. Now, for NIkki - she just hopped in the van. She wanted OUT. She was so ready to go. It was like, "C'mon you guy's, lets GO!".

We finally got Aliana away from her sisters and got a group shot with the orphanage. Then we got in the van and we left. It was late, and Aliana sang to us all the way back. I think I wrote that already in another posting. She cried a little, but held on for dear life. We all felt relief. We did get pulled over by the Russian police at one point for quite a while, we were nervous, it was dark, and so we prayed. We were basically in the middle of nowhere. Finally, they left. We were at an old gas station, so we allowed the girls to run in for some drinks and treats. How they enjoyed that!

We got back to the hotel very late, and everyone was very tired. The girls would not be ours for about five - seven more days in Russian court, but the orphanage had been VERY kind, and had let the girls go at the point, so we wouldn't have to keep traveling the three hour ride every day back to see the girls while we were there. So technically, at that point, we were parents!! It felt so good! Tomorrow, we had an appointment to go see Cami. We were so tired, but before we went to bed, we showed the girls how we prayed. We saw smiles and giggles, they didn't know what to do, but the Spirit was strong, and they were very obedient. How lucky we were.

More to follow.....

Finally seeing the girls before they become officially ours - and two more girls who literally broke my heart.

We got to spend a lot of time with Cami that day. We played ball with her outside the orphanage, and she was so happy. She was excited, and seemed to understand what was going on. During this time, one of her instructers came and got her and explained to her again that she would be going with us. She got a bit weepy again - but quickly overcame it. We just had too much fun.

We were taken into the Director's office, where they waited for "money". It was custom for them to receive a token of appreciation for an adoption. We were told Cami would not be able to spend the night with us, like we had hoped, and we were not very happy about that. What helped us was knowing she was about seven days away from being ours.

Saying goodbye to her was bittersweet once more, but this time I was at least there, and knew she would be going home with us. So we returned to the hotel to talk about our adventures of the day, and to do some site seeing in Stavropole. It was fun taking Mom and showing her the sites. We found where the church would be held on Sunday and determined to take the girls to church with us.

We would be on our way to Bolsha Dolhgha in the morning to collect Nikki and Aliana. Technically - they didn't have to release them until the day of court - but it was a three hour ride both ways - so we prayed fervently that they would release the girls to us that next day. We were so frustrated. We waited until about three or four pm until they finally took us to see our girls. Alex had us stopping at a bunch of orphanages dropping of paperwork. That will forever haunt me. We saw rows and rows of children "lying down, taking naps" on cots - up to the age of about fourteen. (We had to use the bathroom - and were directed to a couple of holes in the ground while we waited for Alex.) We were a bit put out with him because we could have been with the girls - and it seemed he just had too many other things he tried to tie in the day with. UGH. Finally - we were off.

As we finally got close to the familiar looking village - seriously looked like "fiddler on the roof", some ducks ran out into the road. Alex the driver did not stop or miss a beat. He hit one, feathers were flying every where. Someone had duck for dinner that night! People from the village saw us coming and started coming out of the houses, and walking to the orphanage. Suddenly, we were greeted with a yell, and a HUGE company of children running towards us, waving. I couldn't see Nikki or Aliana yet, but there were so many children!! As we slowed down, and got out of the van, I looked around, and finally I saw something that I will never forget. I saw the two of the most beautiful girls running towards me as fast as they could, hair in french braids, faces rubbed as clean as they could be, all in old but clean clothes that matched one another. I held my arms out, and Nikki made it first, diving head first into me and just holding on for dear life. Aliana was a close second, with tears running, and much hugs and kisses. I introduced them to Babushka, who in turn was crying. "Pops" as they called Vinny - also got his share of hugs and kisses. We were tugged and pulled into the orphanage, and there sat the PIANO!!! They were all shouting at me to play it - in Russian of course. Alex translated, and I obliged them. I played everything I knew, and they seemed to be a captive audience. Suddenly - two little girls around nine years old, (Vika and Nastia) grabbed me, and tugged my shirt. They shyly pulled me away, and gave me two of the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen in my life. I remembered them from the first time I had been to the orphanage. They had been shy - but hopeful. They remained by my side ever so much. So now, I hugged them close to me, and told them thank you - "Spaciba". And - broken Russian - I love you, "Ya tya bila bleu" in Russian... I tried to hold them close, and to my utter heartbreaking saddness, they started to wail and moan, and ran as fast as they could, crying their hearts out. How they wanted to come home with me!!!!! I will NEVER forget that. I cried and cried and cried. For days and weeks and months after I saw their faces. I STILL think of them, and if I could go find them, I WOULD. All they want is a Mama and a Papa, with a family to love!!!! It makes me so so sad..

More to come...

The time has come!!

So now the time has come. We are so excited we can't stand it. Mom flew in from Utah, and then we flew to NYC. We flew from JFK to Moscow. What a hectic airport that was!! It was tension filled, and we were so ready to go, but almost frantic, hoping we hadn't forgotten one thing. After many hours, and a delay, we finally were in the air.

I reflected back on the seven months that had started and been this process. What once had seemed an eternity, now was flying by me - going ever so fast. I was amazed. Could this really be happening?? Was I really about to become the mother to three little girls?

After many long hours, we finally made it to Moscow. It was as the same as before, where we had to wait in line for our passports to be recorded. It took hours. Sergey was there again to help us and transport us back and forth to hotels. We stayed in Moscow for a day and a half. He made sure we got checked in again to the Marriott hotel. We were exhausted, but we went and saw Lenin's tomb, and Kremlin's Square - changing of the guards, etc. Mom was such a champ. Remember, she had just had shots in her back, and I was worried about her. I truly tried to be there for her every need.

We got Mom her own suite so she could have her own privacy. We were so excited that night. Vinny and I talked late into the night - it was magical. We were so thankful to be there, and so anxious to see the girls. We would get to see Cami in the morning,

We nervously boarded those small crappy planes again in the morning. Sergey was there to big us goodbye. We had so much luggage it was hard to sit in his car. We were packed like sardines. The three hour flight was un-eventful.

We got to Stavropol bright and early and Alex and Mike were there to meet us again. We were immediately taken to our hotel - a different one than we had stayed at before - with a little suite for Mom. It was perfect. We waited about an hour, and then they came to get us to take us to see Cami.

We got to her orphanage, and I was so so excited. I talk WAY too much and way too fast when I am excited and that day was no different. I had to silently remind myself several times to SLOW down as we waited for her. We were finally ushered in to see the Director. The Director was stuffy and cold. She took her sweet time and we waited anxiously - and I was hot - sweating again because of no air conditioning. Finally - Alex told us they sent for Cami.

A few minutes later, Cami came RUNNING into the room. She was scolded to slow down, but I held my arms out, and she ran to them. I had tears and hugged her. She grinned a toothy grin, several teeth were loose. I looked at my Mom - she was crying. "Vika" I said. "Babushka". (grandmother). Cami jumped up - ran to my Mother, and snuggled right in her lap. That was it. The bond was instantly and forever made. It was one of the sweetest moments of my llife. Cami and my Mother adored each other instantly. I was such a blubbering fool. But a happy one at that.

So much more to write....

Miracles of Miracles!!!!

I ended up going to Utah Sept 2nd, 2003. Casey and Whitney bought me a ticket to go out and see them and surprise everyone. It was really fun - except that I surprised my dear mother who had just had her 35 prolotherapy shots in her back. She was so happy to see me, that when she stood up, she almost fainted. I felt so bad. But it was a great fun time and I was so happy for the opportunity to be out there with my kids and family.

While I was in Utah- Vinny ended up in the hospital with severe muscle spasms in his back. He had them so bad that he couldn't even move! I felt helpless - I couldn't be home for a couple of days. But I was glad Morgan was with him.

So - then another tragedy strikes. Terrorists again in Russia (Chechnya) rush a school very similar to Aliana's and Nikki's, and hold it hostage for three days. It is like an oven in there. The pictures they send out of there are gruesome. The kids are so hot, they are taking their clothes off. Some have already died. At the end of three days, 350 people, mostly children have died. This is not too far from where my girls are. I am sick with worry. Once again I am on my knees, pleading with my Heavenly Father for a court date to get those girls out of Russia. I was able to go to the Temple in Utah - much prayers were offered there. I don't understand why people in this world have to be so cruel, so mean. so heartless?!! During this whole procedure, I have felt an urgency to get those girls out of Russia as soon as possible. I don't know why. I just have.

Even though i love being in Utah, my heart was in Virginia with Vinny and Morgan. I was really worried about hm. I got back home, and we got Vinny well. We were still waiting for our court date. We kept praying with urgency. We felt like we were really getting down to the wire.

AND THEN!!!

MIRACLES OF MIRACLES!!!

WE GET OUR COURT DATE!!!!

We travel to Russia on September 22 - with a court date of Sept 27th, and the girls will be ours!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER!!! Suddenly, we are like giddy teenagers, racing against the clock, running to get everything in order. We had to have every piece of clothing, every visa - every EVERYTHING ready for those girls. I was beyond elated. We were going to become parents again!!

We called the girls on Sept 11th and let them know that we were finally coming. They seemed excited, and scared. A perfect reaction. I had the worst headaches that week. The stress of it all was incredible.

I am so grateful - the time is at hand. We go to London first - then on to Moscow. Once again, we ask, Heavenly Father, to please bless and protect us.


Just writing -

Fighting
Why?
Terrorists
Why
Why now?
When I want nothing more
Than to travel
To Russia
For one purpose
My daughters,
Yes, it's true they
Came from different
Mothers.
But America calls
The home of the free
The land of the brave
So,
For now,
Be Strong,
God is ever near - watching
O'r you
Until that
Glorious day
When five hearts
Will melt
Into
One heart
Your forever Father
And I
Love you so
And we will not be
Saparated again.
For we love you
More than life
And that's
One thing -
A Terrorist
Doesn't
Understand.


Ok - So now we bought the van for the girls - and we love it - hence the picture - and we are READY TO GO GET THE GIRLS!!!
YEEEEEEE HAAAAAAW!

Walk a mile in my shoes

While the waiting continued - I have to tell you what was going on in my life. Before we had decided to adopt the girls, I had to have bunion surgery - a simple procedure, correct? NOT. With me, my body seems to reject anything and everything that is done with and to it. So - I had to have surgery done twice. I had to have screws put in my foot - my foot rejected them. They ended up taking the screws out - and while they were at it- they operated on my pinky toe -(same foot- right foot) to take out a piece of the bone that I had broken a year before. BAD break. My foot just was not healing. I had to wear a foot boot for over a year - and then while waiting for the girls, I wore a foot shoe for eight months. To this day, my right foot is swollen, and larger than my other foot. Any way- I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to walk in Russia. How we fasted and prayed that my foot would heal before we left!!

I finally decided to get a second opinion. Vinny had left for an out of town meeting, and just Morgan and I were at home. I went to this new guy - and he gave me some steroid injection shots into my feet. I remember thinking :"OUCH" cause I'm such a baby anyways. HAHA. But on the 25 minute drive home - all of a sudden I had horrific pains shooting down my leg- to the point that I thought I was going to have to pull over. By the time I got home, I was crying like there was no tomorrow.

I have never felt such pain in my life. Well, yes, I probably have. I have lived in chronic pain most of my adult life... but that's another story in and of it'self. But at that particular time, it was so bad, it was like I couldn't breathe. I was so panicked. Vinny wasn't home, and I knew I needed the priesthood. I called my home teacher, Brother Whitesides, and he immediately came with someone, I don't remember who. But I do remember the blessing. In the blessing, he commanded my body to heal instantly, and told me that my body was to be preserved at this time, that I had children to raise yet on this continent and another! His words were so powerful. I understood instantly how sick I was - and how much my Heavenly Father loved me!

I went to the hospital - I was told my adrenal glands had started to shut down - but that for some reason (and they were very perplexed)... they were working now - and I was very sick - but I would be ok. I cried, but I cried because I felt the power of the priesthood. Morgan needed me, my children who were moved out - married or not needed me - and my soon to be new daughters needed me. I was told this could have been potentially fatal. I was shaking so hard. I have never felt that bad. Well - then again.... lol... Thank you, Heavenly Father.

In the days that followed we did have all our paperwork approved and we were just playing the waiting game. I wrote down some thoughts that I had at this time in my journal.

"Heavenly Father, please bless me to continue to heal, that I might go get our daughters as soon as time permits. Let it be speedy. Let no acts of terrorism mar our way, that we may travel with full safety and assurance. These precious girls need us, and I need them. They need their brothers and their sisters here, their grandma and grandpa, their granddad and nana.
Such changes. I pray for Amy (my daughter in law) to be healthy with this new baby she is carrying. How precious is this new life!

Heavenly Father, I beseech thee - to heal this illness that has me bound. I want to be well for the girls. I want to be their mother. I want to raise them. I want to teach them correct gospel principles. I want to liven with my Vinny - with Morgan and do good things.

The very next day - two Russian airliners crahsed outside Moscow. This was Aug 25 2003. They were the planes like we were on when we flew to Stavropol. It was determined it was an act of terrorism. (It was interesting that just the day before in my journal I had wrote about not worrying about terrorism.) We are not going to let us determine that this will halt our trip in any way. We grieve for the families - but realize that these daughters are ours, and we need to bring them home."

It is interesting to me to go back and read these journal entries.

Miracles and Grandma's (My Mother)

We were still waiting for Aliana's INS approval. We felt it was taking so so long. We had no idea what to do - so we asked Heavenly Father for a miracle, We had to wait it out. We prayed, fasted, everything. They don't provide any phone numbers for INS - you have no way of getting in contact with anyone. Well, I was bound and determined to get my paperwork, and told my sweetheart as such. I asked him to fast with me. So - we fasted on a Sunday - and on Monday -we got a call from a gal at INS! She said - "I don't know how your file ended up on my desk, and I don't normally do this, but tell me your situation, and I will see if I can help." We were flabbergasted. She listened to us, and then said she would have it to us within two weeks - due to the fact that she was going on vacation for two weeks. Do miracles still exist. I say yes!! THANK YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER!

After that, we felt confident that we would get the desired paper work, so we fervently started to get things in order to go. I kept thinking about Cami - and her connection with her "babushka," the only woman who had ever been kind to her in her life. Her dear Grandmother. I started to wonder if it would be a good idea to ask my mom if she wanted to go with us to Russia.

Now - you have to know my mom. I absolutely ADORE my mom. She is the Edith to my Dad's Archie (only my Dad is not even close to being like Archie.) My Mom is just so funny and silly and she forgets things and ...well.. the list could go on and on and on. She really hadn't been out of Utah much - I think she had been to Idaho a few times and maybe Wyoming? I am honestly not sure where else. OH - I know she went to Yellowstone - when she was pregnant with me, but that's Wyoming. At any rate - she's just a good old Utah born and raised girl.

So I asked her if she wanted to go to Russia with me. I didn't know what her reaction would be. I didn't think she knew either. She got quiet and a bit nervous and told me she would have to think it over. She told me later that she was very excited and just needed to talk to my dad. But you see - here was ANOTHER miracle.

My mom had been diagnosed with spinal stenosis. Her back had been bothering her for quite a long time, and she was having problems walking and sitting. She was worried that she wouldn't be able to sit or walk for very long. So - one week before we left, she had what is called "PROLOTHERAPY" and had thirty five shots injected into her back. She was down for a few days, but miracles of miracles, she was up and ready to go on this trip of a life time to bring her little granddaughters home. I guess you never know all your Hero's in your life -they just happen as you go along. My Mother is now one of the biggest Hero's I have. She showed me such strength, such determination, such courage and charity. And, throughout it all - she was still my mom. The girls took to her like you wouldn't believe, but that's for a different story. Mom - I LOVE YOU. More than you will ever know. And I would like to thank you for showing me the "better part" and teaching me the right way and loving me through everything. You and Dad, are my HERO'S!

So - we all went and got our Visa's - and got ready to go. I still was determined that these children were to come soon. I KNEW they would. For some reason - I felt that they were to be home with us - and not there. I already felt like a mother hen with her wings spread out - trying to protect her children, ready to peck at anyone that tried to stop me or hurt my children. Also - for some reason, these girls felt like MINE. It didn't really even seem like adoption, other than we had to wait. They were MINE.

We soon got a call that was disturbing. Irene (who owned the adoption agency) told us that the Russian Judge would be out of town on vacation from Sept 7-20. That meant we could not settle a court date until the end of September or first of October. I was very upset about that, because my son Mike was coming off his mission from Concepcion, Chile at the end of Oct, and we were going to Utah to see him come home, and the agency knew this. We were so shocked. We had planned on getting the girls before school. We decided to put our faith and trust once again in Heavenly Father and pray with "exceeding faith" that we would somehow get a court date. (This was found out Aug 12th)

We find a translator!

Ok. So now we are home. Back to the normal things of the day. But it just isn't normal anymore. We had to feel out so much more paperwork for Aliana. And there were still other papers to be apostilled, and notorized. Let me explain apostille to you.
It's the notorization of the notary by the state. It validates that the notary is legitimate. Any document that Russia required from us, they required it to be apostilled. Every copy had to have it's own apostille. It was like ten - fifteen bucks a shot - just for that! We were very lucky in finding a very good woman named Karen, who became our lifesaver for notary. We didn't have to pay her - or that would have been even more expensive. OUCH. The headache of it all makes me want to go take an excederin right now!

One of the things we had to do to prepare for the girls, was to go to INS (Us citizenship) and get visa's for the girls. There was always so much to do. Well - at this particular time, we had no one that we knew of to help us call Russia and talk to the girls. I was more than determined to do that. I didn't want those girls to think for one minute that I went there to give them false hope, and would never be back.

Well - we went to the INS department in Washington, DC. We were living in Stafford, Va at the time. So- off we went to fight the traffic on I95 (UGH) and went in (one of several trips for government related issues for the girls). While we were there, we were sitting there talking. I have always been someone who loves to watch people, and watch what is going on around me. BOY! This place was a literal melting pot. I saw so many different races, people from all walks of life, people it seemed from every corner of the earth. It was so amazing to me. See - I lived in Utah my whole life - and other than a quick trip to Idaho - or Wyoming (for fireworks) or Arizona in High school - and once I flew to California when I was pregnant with my oldest, but other than that - I never went anywhere until I married Vinny. So to see all these cultures and beautiful faces, rugged faces, faces that told stories, was amazing to me.

As we sat there, I noticed an old woman with a very old scarf on, like the women in Russia wear. Her attire was that of a Russia woman. She had clean clothes, but they were very worn and thin. She sat stoically with her white hair and cane. Next to her sat a man around forty, looking much older I assumed than his actual years. Next to him sat a young girl around the age of fourteen and with her were some young boys. I listened to them talking, as we were sitting right by them, and I immediately wondered if they were speaking Russian. So - you know me - I had to find out. I turned to the little girl and asked her where they were from. She told me Russia - I don't remember the part now. She was tall for her age, and pretty with dark hair. Her clothes were old, and she looked like some of the kids I saw in the Orphanage.
She smiled, and we introduced ourselves. She told me her name was Vika. Vika!!! That was Cami's Russian name, short for Victoria. I asked her where they were living. Seems they had just moved here, and they were there with the old woman from her Russian Church, applying for work permits? Or something like that. Well, all we had was time, so we struck up a conversation. She had a really cute accent. I told her my story of going to Russia and adopting the girls. She was really, really interested in that. She gave us a lot of information of orphaned kids. She told us that people in Russia really looked down on you if you were in an orphanage. They thought you were the lowest of low. That made my heart literally break!! They were the outcasts of society, and that's just how it was. People tried to avoid them, and when the children/teenagers were old enough to fend for themselves, the director of the orphanage was directed to take them, and drop them off in some city where they would have a hard time getting back to the orphanage. They were left with the clothes on their backs. I was horrified. And yes, I cried. I couldn't imagine my girls, let alone any girls or boys having to do this over there. I thought of Nikki's sisters and brothers I saw - and I was sick. But I let her talk on - wanting to find out any and all I could about situations over there.

After speaking awhile, I asked her where they lived. They lived about 45 minutes from us. I asked her if she would like to earn some money for me. She hesitated - and then I explained that I needed a translator to help me call the girls. If she could help - I would call her first - get her on the phone - and then call the orphanages - and then she could talk to the girls and tell me what they said back. She went to her father to ask permission. He looked very gruff, not so much as a smile, and I was somewhat disheartened. But she soon came back with the news that she would be able to do it. Vinny got up and went and shook her Father's hand. I think that really helped - and as Vinny tried to communicate somewhat with the father, Vika gave me her number. From then on I had a translator! I paid her twenty - sometimes forty dollars to help me. She was so sweet and kind, and it was wonderful. I remember that when we started calling the kids, she would laugh so cute at the things they would say. At first - the girls couldn't believe we were calling them. Aliana was always the loudest and boldest, Nikki was so shy - but didn't ever want to hang up the phone. She would sit there all day if we let her, and ask questions, to which she would boringly answer "dah" - to each and everything that was said. (Dah means yes). Aliana was serious, on the other hand, no monkey business. "When are you coming to get us"? she would shout into the phone. We tried to explain about the paperwork, and visa's and such, and I'm not sure of how much they even understood (until we got them here and they started speaking in English and we found out for sure). And then Cami. She was at a different orphanage, and they weren't so nice there. Sometimes they would not let me talk to her. Sometimes - it was so funny- they would get her - and you could here her little cute voice (she is really girly girly - high pitched) and she would say "Mama?" "Papa"? Then we would here giggling, and Vika (our translator) would really try to get her to open up. She really didn't understand much being only six at the time, so we just told her over and over again that her American Mama and Papa loved her so so much. She seemed to delight in that.

When we had left the girls in Russia, we left Nikki and Cami with a book of photos of their new brothers and sisters, and their new home. They had pictures of their bedrooms, and the dog, Chloe- and everything. We went over and over each picture with them very carefully. Nikki ended up sharing her book with Aliana for the time being. When we brought the girls home, it was upsetting - all of the toys and clothes had been left with the orphanage. We had to bring clothes back with us - and the girls were literally changed at the time they were handed off to me. I got VERY lucky - and got to keep Aliana's and Nikki's outfits they had on that day. Not so for Cami - but they did let me keep her shoes. Everything went to the Orphanage.

So - I had my life-line in Vika. About a month after using her- she went to some sort of a camp for a month, and didn't tell me she was leaving. I was so upset, and worried that the girls would think that I didn't want them anymore. Fortunately, I found one man in our ward that spoke Russian fluently!!! He was so willing and ready to help - so yeah!! Now I had a back up. All my girls in Russia were also sent to a "summer camp" for a month. So for one whole month - I had no communication with them at all. I would call dutifully every Sunday. I would always say "Americana Mama, don't hang up the phone'- only I had learned to say it in Russian. You don't know how many frustrating phone calls it took - where they didn't understand, and would hang up on me. They finally got used to us calling. YEAH!

Well, I missed the girls something fierce, and I prayed so hard that we would soon have our INS approval for Aliana, and just more paperwork kept pouring in. At times, we wondered if we were doing the right thing. But we pressed on - determined not to give up. "Doubt not - but be believing" became my slogan. I even got personalized license plates that said "Doubt NT".

I still have them and look at them. So - we still played the waiting game, only this time I knew that the girls were real. I had felt them in my arms. I had loved them and kissed them. And I wanted them home..