Miracles and Grandma's (My Mother)

We were still waiting for Aliana's INS approval. We felt it was taking so so long. We had no idea what to do - so we asked Heavenly Father for a miracle, We had to wait it out. We prayed, fasted, everything. They don't provide any phone numbers for INS - you have no way of getting in contact with anyone. Well, I was bound and determined to get my paperwork, and told my sweetheart as such. I asked him to fast with me. So - we fasted on a Sunday - and on Monday -we got a call from a gal at INS! She said - "I don't know how your file ended up on my desk, and I don't normally do this, but tell me your situation, and I will see if I can help." We were flabbergasted. She listened to us, and then said she would have it to us within two weeks - due to the fact that she was going on vacation for two weeks. Do miracles still exist. I say yes!! THANK YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER!

After that, we felt confident that we would get the desired paper work, so we fervently started to get things in order to go. I kept thinking about Cami - and her connection with her "babushka," the only woman who had ever been kind to her in her life. Her dear Grandmother. I started to wonder if it would be a good idea to ask my mom if she wanted to go with us to Russia.

Now - you have to know my mom. I absolutely ADORE my mom. She is the Edith to my Dad's Archie (only my Dad is not even close to being like Archie.) My Mom is just so funny and silly and she forgets things and ...well.. the list could go on and on and on. She really hadn't been out of Utah much - I think she had been to Idaho a few times and maybe Wyoming? I am honestly not sure where else. OH - I know she went to Yellowstone - when she was pregnant with me, but that's Wyoming. At any rate - she's just a good old Utah born and raised girl.

So I asked her if she wanted to go to Russia with me. I didn't know what her reaction would be. I didn't think she knew either. She got quiet and a bit nervous and told me she would have to think it over. She told me later that she was very excited and just needed to talk to my dad. But you see - here was ANOTHER miracle.

My mom had been diagnosed with spinal stenosis. Her back had been bothering her for quite a long time, and she was having problems walking and sitting. She was worried that she wouldn't be able to sit or walk for very long. So - one week before we left, she had what is called "PROLOTHERAPY" and had thirty five shots injected into her back. She was down for a few days, but miracles of miracles, she was up and ready to go on this trip of a life time to bring her little granddaughters home. I guess you never know all your Hero's in your life -they just happen as you go along. My Mother is now one of the biggest Hero's I have. She showed me such strength, such determination, such courage and charity. And, throughout it all - she was still my mom. The girls took to her like you wouldn't believe, but that's for a different story. Mom - I LOVE YOU. More than you will ever know. And I would like to thank you for showing me the "better part" and teaching me the right way and loving me through everything. You and Dad, are my HERO'S!

So - we all went and got our Visa's - and got ready to go. I still was determined that these children were to come soon. I KNEW they would. For some reason - I felt that they were to be home with us - and not there. I already felt like a mother hen with her wings spread out - trying to protect her children, ready to peck at anyone that tried to stop me or hurt my children. Also - for some reason, these girls felt like MINE. It didn't really even seem like adoption, other than we had to wait. They were MINE.

We soon got a call that was disturbing. Irene (who owned the adoption agency) told us that the Russian Judge would be out of town on vacation from Sept 7-20. That meant we could not settle a court date until the end of September or first of October. I was very upset about that, because my son Mike was coming off his mission from Concepcion, Chile at the end of Oct, and we were going to Utah to see him come home, and the agency knew this. We were so shocked. We had planned on getting the girls before school. We decided to put our faith and trust once again in Heavenly Father and pray with "exceeding faith" that we would somehow get a court date. (This was found out Aug 12th)

We find a translator!

Ok. So now we are home. Back to the normal things of the day. But it just isn't normal anymore. We had to feel out so much more paperwork for Aliana. And there were still other papers to be apostilled, and notorized. Let me explain apostille to you.
It's the notorization of the notary by the state. It validates that the notary is legitimate. Any document that Russia required from us, they required it to be apostilled. Every copy had to have it's own apostille. It was like ten - fifteen bucks a shot - just for that! We were very lucky in finding a very good woman named Karen, who became our lifesaver for notary. We didn't have to pay her - or that would have been even more expensive. OUCH. The headache of it all makes me want to go take an excederin right now!

One of the things we had to do to prepare for the girls, was to go to INS (Us citizenship) and get visa's for the girls. There was always so much to do. Well - at this particular time, we had no one that we knew of to help us call Russia and talk to the girls. I was more than determined to do that. I didn't want those girls to think for one minute that I went there to give them false hope, and would never be back.

Well - we went to the INS department in Washington, DC. We were living in Stafford, Va at the time. So- off we went to fight the traffic on I95 (UGH) and went in (one of several trips for government related issues for the girls). While we were there, we were sitting there talking. I have always been someone who loves to watch people, and watch what is going on around me. BOY! This place was a literal melting pot. I saw so many different races, people from all walks of life, people it seemed from every corner of the earth. It was so amazing to me. See - I lived in Utah my whole life - and other than a quick trip to Idaho - or Wyoming (for fireworks) or Arizona in High school - and once I flew to California when I was pregnant with my oldest, but other than that - I never went anywhere until I married Vinny. So to see all these cultures and beautiful faces, rugged faces, faces that told stories, was amazing to me.

As we sat there, I noticed an old woman with a very old scarf on, like the women in Russia wear. Her attire was that of a Russia woman. She had clean clothes, but they were very worn and thin. She sat stoically with her white hair and cane. Next to her sat a man around forty, looking much older I assumed than his actual years. Next to him sat a young girl around the age of fourteen and with her were some young boys. I listened to them talking, as we were sitting right by them, and I immediately wondered if they were speaking Russian. So - you know me - I had to find out. I turned to the little girl and asked her where they were from. She told me Russia - I don't remember the part now. She was tall for her age, and pretty with dark hair. Her clothes were old, and she looked like some of the kids I saw in the Orphanage.
She smiled, and we introduced ourselves. She told me her name was Vika. Vika!!! That was Cami's Russian name, short for Victoria. I asked her where they were living. Seems they had just moved here, and they were there with the old woman from her Russian Church, applying for work permits? Or something like that. Well, all we had was time, so we struck up a conversation. She had a really cute accent. I told her my story of going to Russia and adopting the girls. She was really, really interested in that. She gave us a lot of information of orphaned kids. She told us that people in Russia really looked down on you if you were in an orphanage. They thought you were the lowest of low. That made my heart literally break!! They were the outcasts of society, and that's just how it was. People tried to avoid them, and when the children/teenagers were old enough to fend for themselves, the director of the orphanage was directed to take them, and drop them off in some city where they would have a hard time getting back to the orphanage. They were left with the clothes on their backs. I was horrified. And yes, I cried. I couldn't imagine my girls, let alone any girls or boys having to do this over there. I thought of Nikki's sisters and brothers I saw - and I was sick. But I let her talk on - wanting to find out any and all I could about situations over there.

After speaking awhile, I asked her where they lived. They lived about 45 minutes from us. I asked her if she would like to earn some money for me. She hesitated - and then I explained that I needed a translator to help me call the girls. If she could help - I would call her first - get her on the phone - and then call the orphanages - and then she could talk to the girls and tell me what they said back. She went to her father to ask permission. He looked very gruff, not so much as a smile, and I was somewhat disheartened. But she soon came back with the news that she would be able to do it. Vinny got up and went and shook her Father's hand. I think that really helped - and as Vinny tried to communicate somewhat with the father, Vika gave me her number. From then on I had a translator! I paid her twenty - sometimes forty dollars to help me. She was so sweet and kind, and it was wonderful. I remember that when we started calling the kids, she would laugh so cute at the things they would say. At first - the girls couldn't believe we were calling them. Aliana was always the loudest and boldest, Nikki was so shy - but didn't ever want to hang up the phone. She would sit there all day if we let her, and ask questions, to which she would boringly answer "dah" - to each and everything that was said. (Dah means yes). Aliana was serious, on the other hand, no monkey business. "When are you coming to get us"? she would shout into the phone. We tried to explain about the paperwork, and visa's and such, and I'm not sure of how much they even understood (until we got them here and they started speaking in English and we found out for sure). And then Cami. She was at a different orphanage, and they weren't so nice there. Sometimes they would not let me talk to her. Sometimes - it was so funny- they would get her - and you could here her little cute voice (she is really girly girly - high pitched) and she would say "Mama?" "Papa"? Then we would here giggling, and Vika (our translator) would really try to get her to open up. She really didn't understand much being only six at the time, so we just told her over and over again that her American Mama and Papa loved her so so much. She seemed to delight in that.

When we had left the girls in Russia, we left Nikki and Cami with a book of photos of their new brothers and sisters, and their new home. They had pictures of their bedrooms, and the dog, Chloe- and everything. We went over and over each picture with them very carefully. Nikki ended up sharing her book with Aliana for the time being. When we brought the girls home, it was upsetting - all of the toys and clothes had been left with the orphanage. We had to bring clothes back with us - and the girls were literally changed at the time they were handed off to me. I got VERY lucky - and got to keep Aliana's and Nikki's outfits they had on that day. Not so for Cami - but they did let me keep her shoes. Everything went to the Orphanage.

So - I had my life-line in Vika. About a month after using her- she went to some sort of a camp for a month, and didn't tell me she was leaving. I was so upset, and worried that the girls would think that I didn't want them anymore. Fortunately, I found one man in our ward that spoke Russian fluently!!! He was so willing and ready to help - so yeah!! Now I had a back up. All my girls in Russia were also sent to a "summer camp" for a month. So for one whole month - I had no communication with them at all. I would call dutifully every Sunday. I would always say "Americana Mama, don't hang up the phone'- only I had learned to say it in Russian. You don't know how many frustrating phone calls it took - where they didn't understand, and would hang up on me. They finally got used to us calling. YEAH!

Well, I missed the girls something fierce, and I prayed so hard that we would soon have our INS approval for Aliana, and just more paperwork kept pouring in. At times, we wondered if we were doing the right thing. But we pressed on - determined not to give up. "Doubt not - but be believing" became my slogan. I even got personalized license plates that said "Doubt NT".

I still have them and look at them. So - we still played the waiting game, only this time I knew that the girls were real. I had felt them in my arms. I had loved them and kissed them. And I wanted them home..

So... we.. wait...

So - now we are home. Exhausted but totally exhilarated if that makes sense. I woke up at 630:am because Morgan wanted to see the pictures of the girls and the trip before church. So - I bundled up and went downstairs, Vinny decided to make a brave front and join us.


It was interesting - before we left on this trip - Morgan was so - so about the adoption. In fact - since that time he has confided in us that he thought we were crazy at the time - as did many people! =) I can handle that - it was quite the feeling - to decide to adopt one girl - and end up adopting three in just a couple of months!

Now - back to watch the videos - I watched Morgan. A change had come over him. He was excited to see us with these two little girls that we had talked about prayed about, and dreamt about for the past few months. We didn't say anything about Aliana yet. He didn't really even know. He had seen her pictures with Nikki when the adoption agency had sent them - but he wasn't interested at all. Ok, It was time to get ready for church.


Just as we got done - it was time for him to get going, we were so jet lagged - there was no way we could have gone. We were so tired - and we had signed up to have a Youth Fireside at our house that evening to boot! We were going back to bed!! And so we did. Morgan went to church without us. We slept until 11:00:am, and then got up. I had jet lag very bad. At this point in my life - I really hadn't traveled a lot. Before I even met Vinny - I had only been on a plane once - to California from Utah and that had been 25 years before I married him. Since I had married him - I had traveled to Maryland once before our marriage to visit him and our new ward, and then we drove cross country when we got married (boy was that fun on our "honeymoon" with a fourteen year old boy in tow) and we had flown back two or three times to Salt Lake since then to see my family. That was it. My family had also been able to fly out and see me - so I was doing fine on traveling. I honestly didn't know the true meaning of Jet lag. A four hour trip was hard and I thought I had it when I went to Utah!! HAHAHAH! NOT. (Well, ok, I'm a wimp - I admit I DO still have jet lag). I guess this was just the mother lode of all jet lags.

I finally got up and started to email pictures of our trip and call family and friends. I didn't have much time - due to the fact the fireside would be in two hours. I was still in my jammies!!

About 6:30pm - everyone started showing up for the fireside. Vinny was a champ, He mingled and talked and was so animated and fun. I just stayed to myself (and a couple of ladies in the ward). I couldn't shut the sights, smells and sounds of Russia - and most of all - I couldn't stop thinking of three little girls I had left behind.

After the fireside - I walked through the house - and checked the room I had gotten ready for Nikki and Cami. It was so cute- and so ready for them. I then walked to one guest room - which was going to become Aliana's room (at that time it was the Americana room - her room is now the phantom of the opera room). I just looked and wished they were here.

I was still in a daze - but a good one.

I WISHED SO BAD that they were there!! I remember that I had tears falling, and as I turned, Vinny was right behind me, and just held me in his arms.

Just random writing waiting for the girls to come home

Waiting and writing about the girls...

Aliana - My Oldest daughter (by a few months), with your "trying to be so brave looks",
your long brownish red hair waiving down your shoulders,
You are so sweet- so wonderful- so pretty.
We are so blessed to be able to take you home.
I truly love you, Aliana.

Nikki - my second oldest. What a little beauty you are-inside and out. You've had my heart since day one.
When I first saw your picture I knew you were mine. Your shyness makes me want to
protect you even more. I love you!

Camilla - Cami -bug! How I enjoy you so. You are are talented, so gifted with so many things.
The world is yours, if you but let yourself soar!
Your sparkling green eyes, that slken hair - those full lips - you are indeed a treasure.
I'm so gald WE got you, Cami, for you see, someone else nearly did. I love you, my princess child.

MY THREE DAUGHTERS

Never before could I have imagined such excitement.
Nor the agony of waiting.
Waiting eendlessly for mounds of paperwork - for Governments to
Hold my life in their hands.
Never have I turned more to my God - and to my Savior- Jesus Christ.
I knew not that I could love so much, seeing you so little.
You have captured my heart, each having a piece in a unique way. To think I've
Seen you just once!!

Three daughters. To laugh with.. to sing with.
To cry with. To yell with, to be quiet with.
To grow with, to learn with.
To make you each a part of me, and me a part of you.

Three Daughters.

It's ok to be afraid. I am somewhat.
It's OK.
Let's just hold on to each other - tightly, and spend
A lifetime caring and loving, and living the gospel.
So we can one day return as a family unit to the God who
Created us, never to be separated again.

I promise to be fair, to try hard, to be consisitant,
To kiss boo-boo's, help with homework,
Teach you to make cookies and fold socks.
I promise to listen, t set rules, to guide you,
To trust you, and let you fly alone when it's time.
I promise to teach you to pray, to love to read,
To be respectful of others and the things around you.
I promise to say I'm sorry when I'm wrong,
Which I suppose might be often.
I promise to give you the gift of music.
I will teach you about allowences, the tooth fairy,
Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny,
But most importantly, I will teach you of
Christ and what He did for us. I know you will love
Him as much as I do.
I will help you learn service, and to learn to share, to make
Others happy. That's where you are truly happy, my daughters,
In service.
I love you my beautiful girls. I have waited for you all my life.
I promise I will say I love you every day and show you even more.
Thank you Heavenly Father - for my three little girls!
You are mine - and I am most humbly,
Your mother.

Flying back to Washington, DC - June 28 2004

Sergey came and got us. Vinny's stomach was somewhat better... We had a "tiff" with the Hotel Manager - she wanted to charge us more money than was needed! We had paid her cash at the beginning of the stay at the hotel - to cover the expense of the hotel. She decided she wanted more- and I got somewhat angry. Vinny was trying to talk to her, but I really was mad at this point. It's like - "they are American's - we can take their money" and I didn't like that at all. At any rate - we didn't pay it!! I really put my foot down. Vinny was someone chagrined - but I knew we had paid them in full. I was glad to be going home at that point.

We left the Marriott, and Sergey took us once again through the city. He took us to a marketplace, where you could buy all sorts of things. (Souveniers). We took pictures and bought a few things, but I really think at that point I was ready to come home.

Our flight was delayed several hours. (shock- not). We were stuck at the airport for many long hours. Sergey was wonderful - he stayed with us until our flight left. We were not once ever left alone. The cool thing too, was we found and met several other couples from the USA who had been there for their first trip for adoption. All of them were adopting babies - we were the only ones adoping older children, but it really passed the time quickly talking to these young kids - hearing how excited they were and the process they had gone through. Some were much different than ours. We determined that we were very blessed indeed, to be able to go and see three separate little girls. Somo of the people only got to hold these babies for a few hours, and that was IT! Plus, they traveled hours on bus and planes to get to them. They all clutched pictures, and it was like a healing time for all of us, men and women alike. It was really beautiful.

One thng that happened that REALLY bothered me. (And many other people from the USA- and probably the world). There was a mother there --who had obviously just adopted a little girl - maybe four at the oldest. She also had adopted a little boy who was about one and a half. The girl may have been three. At any rate - they were a handful to say the least. I don't know what kind of post-traumatic disorders these children had, but they would bang their heads, and cry, and try to run. They were SCARED TO DEATH! The kids were sreaming - and disrupting everthing. Her husband was with her, they were both heavy set people (which really doesn't have anything to do with it - other than they wouldn't move to do to do anything for their children.) Well, here we all are... wishing we had OUR BABES IN ARMS, and this MOTHER starts to SLAP HER DAUGHTER HARD!!!!!!! I was shocked beyond belief!!! One gal I was talking to was so angry - she wanted the adoption agency of where these people had been allowed to adopted through. It kept going on. I know it was hard - the lines were long, it was a slow process - and it was hard. But those children were beyond reasoning with -and all the mother and father knew to do was to slap and hit these kids in front of everyone!. I finally walked over to the mother, and asked her if she needed some help with her daugher. She started in about how bad she was(the child) (I'm sorry- but even if that child didn't understand english - she understood the resentment in her voice).... I bent down, and gently talked to the child. She wouldn't make eye contact with me at first - but I noticed that the little boy had tried so hard to stop sniffling, and was sucking on a binking, blinking through his tears. I had some candy or a toy - I don't remember, and I asked if I could give it to them. The mom just shrugged and said sure. So I did, and very calmly told her it was for her. She threw it. I smiled and picked it up and gave it to her again. She looked at me questioningly and did it again. I picked it up again and handed it to her. When it became apparent that she wasn't going to be screamed at or yelled at or hit, she calmed down, and I noticed the baby boy smiling through his tears. Suddenly, the beast of a mother decided she didn't like this at all. She was in control after all, not me. She grabbed that little girls arm, and briskly told me they were going to the bathroom. I did get her to tell me where her agency was before she left (high five)!!!!!. The screaming and kicking started again.
To this day -I am sick about it. Even on the plane.. the Father sat with the little girl, and the mother took the son. They were so loud, and of course the kids were scared to death. Several times, I heard the father turn to the mother and say, "well, I had to slap her hard to make her be quiet and sit". I was so appalled. I never found out if that other girl that was adopting called their adoption agency like she said she was - but it was so so sad.
I will tell you something NOW that I FIRMLY BELIEVE IN!! ( And I have been asked this several times, because my girls are so well behaved and so....normal crazy fun loving happy!!). LOVE THEM FROM THE GET GO. MAKE THEM YOURS. Take them in your arms, tell them you love them, "Yhatza bila blue" (that's how it's pronounced - not spelled (I love you). Don't be afraid to touch them. Bring them in close. Hold them. Touch their hair. Kiss their eyes - their nose.... their freckles. Hold heir hands. They truly can feel your love!! I KNOW THIS IS TRUE. Also - because we adopted older children, after our first trip - we called them once a week before we went back and got them. This re-inforced to them that we were really going to do what we said we were doin - not just lip service. They so looked forward to those calls. I know you can't call a baby - but you can pray every single night - and ask your Father in Heaven to let that special spirit to recognize you and your love. IT WORKS!!!!

Ok. Sorry. Back to the plane. I didn't mean to get carried away. I just can't lose sight of that day ever. And I don't want anyone else to either...

Waiting in line, we met a beautiful young woman named Olya (for Olga). She was an attorney (she looked all of eighteen!!) coming to see her American boyfriend. Our flight was deliyed several hours, we finally made it through security and we were starving. We found someplece to eat. It was SOOOO wonderful. We were able to board - four hours later - and started the long trek home. I had a hard time sleeping on the flight.....so many emotions and feelings, sensory overload and I couldn't shut down- even with medication. We watched a couple of movies ... and I wrote a lot in my journals. (I'm so happy now that I did...) I finally even slept a little bit.

We made it home Saturday eveneing around 9pm. We finally got through customs, and called Morgan around 930Pm. He was worried, thinking we would be home at 5pm - but we had no way of letting him no- (you couldn't leave the line to call anyone and let them know you would be late).

I was absolutely exhausted..(as was VInny), on the drive home. We got home, went upstairs and unpacked some . Morgan came back from the Palmers (friends) around midnight and wanted us to get up immeditely and show him pictures and videos of his new sisters and Russia! We were just tired. I did decide that I would make it to church in the morning. LITTLE DID I KNOW ABOUT JET LAG!!!!


We were HOME!

Our last night in Moscow June 27 04

That night, we got back to the hotel. Once again, we were physically exhausted, as well as emotionally. I still was suffering the pangs of heat exhaustion, yet so much had to be done. We started to pack. We got a phone call from our translator, Alex, informing us that we owed him and Alex our transportation driver cash in the morning before returning to Moscow. We said sure - no problem. We went out to the "bank"... the little ATM... or whatever it is called over there to pull money out of our account. There, to our utter HORROR, we found that all of our credit, ATM, DEBIT, all cards had a hold placed on them. All accounts were frozen!! We did not think to notify our banks of oversea travel before we left - and they got suspicious and put a hold on our account! Even our credit cards did the same thing! Everything was alerted and raised to "Fraud Status". We were more than frightened! There we were, in Stavropol, with no money!!! We got a hold of Alex, the translator, and he got a hold of Irene, the Director of our Adoption Agency that we were there through. We told her what had happened, and she she informed us that "things like this happened all the time!" Fortunately, she told us not to worry about it - she would pay Alex and we could compensate and reimburse her. We had enough cash on us to get us to the Marriott Hotel in Moscow. We were so grateful for her - for that gesture.

We retired semi-early. Back to Moscow in the am! UP EARLY!! Back to the rickety old plane that would fly us back to Moscow. Alex took us to the aeroport. He stayed with us until we got through the gate. We finally boarded after a long wait, and fortunately, we both slept most of the way back to Moscow. It was the same experience there, walking off onto a runway, and finding our luggage at a very old terminal baggage claim. Sergey was back again, to gake us to the Marriott. We were awed by down town Moscow. It was VERY old - lots of walls and gates, but very crowded and noisy- due to honking horns and speeding cars. There are no speed limits - people drive fast and furious there. You very seldom see women driving - in fact I think I only saw one drive the whole time I was in Russia. The men drive fast, hard, and take life threatening risks like it is nothing. There are policemen everywhere. They just stand with big "billy clubs". If they gesture you to pull over with their sticks, you do. They like to take bribes. You can either pay them a bribe then, or if you don't have the money, you go and pay two times as much later at court, so we were told that most everyone carries bribes around for the policemen. You don't have or need a driver's license, you have a passport. Whenever you leave or enter a city, you have 24 hours to register where you are. This way you can be tracked and monitored always. It's really freaky.

Sergey was motioned over by the police. He looked very worried... so of course, me the worry wort, was VERY worried. He had a cracked window in his windshield, and was very concerned that the police would take away his plates to his car - which he told us was a huge hassle to get back. Vinny and I instantly said a prayer to help him out (and ourselves). Our prayers once again were answered - Sergey came back looking very relieved and said that they only took a bribe. We were able to go on our way.

We made it to the Marriott and checked in. By this time, Vinny was not feeling well. He had severe stomach problems. We got up to our room, and decided to go check out the hotel. First we thought eating might help Vinny. So - we went down to a delicous buffet. There we ate to our hearts content. There we saw the California woman Sean Volz (husband Scott who had to go home) who was still there trying to get that baby girl home!! She was pretty sure they would be able to go home in a day or so - We really prayed for her. Vinny was prepared to give her money if needed. One more reason I fell more in love with him that day! As soon as we were done eating, Vinny's stomach problem hit him full force. It wiped him out. We ended back up in the room, and while he rested, I decided to go do some hotel shopping. I went down and found a beautiful Russian dress, costume with the headress for the girls, so they can have it when they are older - for their heritage. I also bought small matrushka dolls and small beautifully painted wooden boxes. I got post cards, and a beautiful Russian scarf and cookbook.

Vinny stil didn't feel better as the night progressed, so I finally convinced him to go with me to find a pharmacy. The streets are very very crowded and noisy like New York (and the traffic). It was nice. Not too scary.... but policemen everywhere. We found the sign for phanrmacy...and asked for immodium. They fortunately understood. We purchased and left. We noticed an old worn out looking peasant woman - crying... just crying in the middle of the streets. We passed her by..I felt sad. But then, I felt impressed to go back, and so did Vinny. We walked back where she was and I dropped a few coins into her hand. She was grateful but still looked so weary. We walked on a bit, thinking and talking about her. I had to stop. I had to go back again. Vinny went with me, and gave me the equivelent of about ten dollars to give to her - quite a lot to anyone over there. I walked right up to her. She recognized me, and looked at me imploringly, with the question in her eyes that will forever haunt me. I think she thought I wanted the coins back. Then she looked down, and openly wept when I placed the money into her hands. Only this time it was tears of gratitude and joy. I took her in my arms, and hugged her - and then I kissed both of her weatherbeaten cheeks. "Spaciba". she cried over and over again (Thank you, thank you) not wanting to let go. She looked down at the money in amazement, like she didnt know where it had come from. I told her I loved her, and turned to leave. From that lone experience I have learned much about charity. She did not reek of alchohol, she truly needed the money to eat - to put a roof over her head and I'm glad we were able to help. I wished I would have given her more. (This was truly a highlight of our trip).

Back at the hotel, we were able to purchase a phone card, and access the internet. I'm so glad we got to make contact with some of our family. We got to talk and tell them about the girls - and the sites and sounds of the things we had seen and done. Tomorrow - we fly to Washington DC. It will be a long trip.

Our last day with Cami before returning home

That night, after resting for an hour or so with my feet up, we tried to venture out once more to the Gallerira and got Cami a few more toys for our next and final visit with her. We also went grocery shopping - everything was SO different from America. I tried so hard to use my Russian (from a book) and one cute girl at the store was so sweet, she gestured to me to fill out a "discount card" - one like a Food lion or Smith's card - a grocery store card where you save a few pennies! It was so cute! So we filled it out, laughing because we knew we would be flying back to America in a couple of days, but the gesture was so sweet. I still have that card. I was so exhausted, however, and did not feel good, and we went to bed very early.

New day - feet are still very swollen, but not as bad as the day before --

We got to Cami's Orpanage. I was really excited to see her again - because we hadn't seen her in two days. We were once again ushered in to the gymnasium where the piano was and waited. We waited for about twenty minutes, and suddenly Cami was brought in. Cami was in filthy, dirty clothes,and that really really bothered me! Here, I had just left her a whole suitcase full of new clothes two days earlier, and not one piece of clothing was found on her?? I was fuming, wondering if indeed they had even been given to Cami. I spoke my frustration to Michael, the interpretor. The Director of the orpanage was not there that day, and the Education Teacher had been left in charge. She would not budge, and held her ground. But I was NOT going to budge either, and tersly told her that she better get up there and put Cami's decent clothes on her that I had brought to her. She took her out, and finally returned her with the same clothes we had put on her the last time we had seen her! I was NOT happy! WHERE WERE HER CLOTHES????? I never did find out.

Then another issue. Ms... Control Freak decided that she would not allow us to take Cami to the Galleria (we had been told we could by the director). I again was NOT happy. It was so hot again in there, but she walked over and closed the windows to the room, as she icely told me that she didn't want me saying hi to the other children playing outside!!!! ( I had recognized some from the website - and was waving to them). I informed Michael that I had not come 5,000 miles and spent thousands of dollars not to get to spend time with Cami. I was furious. The Ice woman - control freak would only let us spend one hour with her that morning and told us to return at 330pm that afternoon.

So- we got up and left - the morning had been all but spoiled. Seeing Cami had been great - but there was so much politics involved that morning, I really didn't even get to feel her sweet little spirit. Off I went back to the Galleria, and went back to the toy store. A certain lady working there caught my attention. She seemed SO nice. I tried to explain that we were going to adopt from the detsky dom, and she was touched. She came up, and shyly handed us two bags of Russian candy!! It was so sweet and kind. We bought Cami a hula hoop that lights up and makes noise, a big princess pink bag, a game called jumping Monkeys, and a Tom and Jerry Puzzle. (that was her favorite cartoon).

We returned to the orphanage around 330pm. I asked AGAIN why Cami was out of her clean clothes and back in filthy dirty clothes?!!!! This time, someone really scooted, and hurried and changed her. Something else happened too. I noticed that our little Cami Bug was missing her first tooth! (one lost, one very loose). So I explained to her about the tooth fairy, and fave her a dollar bill for each tooth. I told her if she lost any more teeth to save them in her bag for the tooth fairy in America.

There were times Cami would get weepy - sad - but she had the most wonderful caretaker. She was an older lady with fading red hair. She really liked us. She very sternly but lovinly explained to Cami that she would have a better life in America, that we were her Mama and Papa! I was so happy and thrilled this woman was there. I instantly adored her, how do you thank someone for that? Cami, cautiously started to want to see the pictures of "home" and our house. We went over the names of all the kids here, so she would know her brothers and sisters. She was told her American name would be "Camilla Rose" to which she replied that she liked Vika. =) We told her that Vika would always be her Russian name and that is was so very beautiful, but she would indeed have a new name here. She then seemed really settlted with it.

She loved the hula hoop - she was amazing at it. It was nice however, to quiet her down and watch her do puzzles, and play games. She is extremely bright, and figures things out quickly. She can be quiet and thoughtful. and then suddendly that high little girly laugh brightens up even the darkest of rooms. We were told we could stay as late as we wanted - because of not getting to spend time with her earlier in the day. Seems my well worth frustration was listened to, and someone's butt was chewed pretty good. That wasn't my intent, but it was my intent to spend as much time as I could with the child, seeing that we had spent so much time and money into coming there.

Cami's living conditions were poor - but extremely clean. There were obvious crafts taking place - good things going on. Cami showed us her bed - which was in the middle of this big room, in the middle of several little free standing cots. Nothing looked soft about it at all. Just small and cold. She told us she was instructed to make her bed by herself everyday, and we also learned that she washes her own clothes every day by hand! I was mind boggled!! I saw the old little hand washer, where these tiny children would line up (babes if you will) and scrub their clothes). Yes, there were many tears shed. We just don't know how good we have it. Such responsibility for six years old!!!
She seemed to love to sit on my lap and look at books and pictures. We showed her a picture of her new bedroom, and she boldly stated that she "wanted the other bed in the room" (there were two beds - one for her - one for Nikki..). When we went to leave- we left her pictures of her new home and life. Suddenly, she turned and ran back and got us a water-coloring picture book that she had worked on the past year. I was touched to the core. I couldn't believe she would part with such a treasure.

I wrote her names out for her to study. CAMI, CAMILLA ROSE. and VICTORIA. She seemed very settled. We parted with hugs and kisses, and many" I love you's". Yatza bila bleu. ((That's how it sounds in Russia - not how it's spelled). The language of love understands all barriers. It was very hard for me to leave her this time.

Back to the Hotel - and back to preparing to return to Moscow. So many memories, and I felt as if my arms were empty... that I shouldn't be leaving without those children. They were already mine. I had held them, loved them, told them so, from the moment I saw them. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM YOURS from the GET GO! Don't be afraid to LOVE. Just go grab them and let them know that they are yours and you are theirs. LOVE. They can feel it if you have it. Give it freely. I just wished everyone could go and get a child. I was more impressed with NIkki's orpanage than Cami's -- but I wouldn't have found Cami without hers,, so there is a reason for everything.

Goodbye for a few months- my babies.. and Heavenly Father? Please keep them in your loving care. Please watch over them and protect them until we can return for them and take them HOME.

Getting ready to go home follows....