Another bug

Vinny was true to his word. Fifteen minutes later he showed up at the door. I was still sitting there, gazing at this waif of a girl, a six year old little gir, who looked frightened beyone description. Terrified was more the word. Vinny walked over to the computer. He stared and didn't say anything. Finally, breaking the silence, the question was different this time. "Do you think she could love ME?" he asked? Then, taking my hand, we knelt down right there at the computer chair, and offered up a prayer. This time it was different. We asked if we thought if taking on another child was too much. We asked if taking a child that young would work. We didn't really know what to pray for, we just knew we had to pray.

As we got up from our prayer, we both received confirmation at the same time, that this tiny little child was to become ours. I instantly picked up the phone and called the adoption agency. I have to interject here, that the site I was looking at for adoption, showed many many sites that had different adoption agencies. We had no clue if this little girl belonged to our agency. If she didn't, we would not be able to adopt her, because it would just be too difficult to start a process all over again and go through another waiting period for another child.

The phone rang, and someone answered at the other end. I was absolutely stunned (as were they) when they told me they had just put the picture of Vika (Victoria) up fifteen minutes ago!!! Was she available?? I listened in unbelieveable silence as they told me the story.

Vika, it seemed, had a family that had gone over to adopt her. They had made their first visit. But, after the initial visit, they decided they didn't want her!! They didn't want her???? My heart broke when I heard that. I asked if we could start the adoption procedures immediately. They were very hesitant, because it was late in the day, and she had just been posted. So, we reached a compromise. They told me to call back first thing in the morning, and they would let me know, when their supervisor got in.

All night I kept looking at that picture, along with Katja (Ekatarina) and wondered what I was getting myself into. One, was ok. And she was nine. But six?? Was I sure?? And I had just found her that night!! Was I crazy?? We prayed and we felt the spirit whisper to us that we were to proceed with this.

The next morning, at about nine am, I started calling the agency again. I was dumbfounded when I was told that during four thirty pm and five pm the evening before, and starting at eight am that morning, about seventy people had called wanting her. She was blonde and hazel eyed, something that American's really wanted. But, because I had called fifteen minutes after she had been posted, they decided to "wait" for me to see if I still wanted her in the morning! Did I? they asked? I was so happy, I cried. Of course I did.

So, we started another long ordeal because this little girl called to us. She was in Stavropol. My question was this. Could we go see her at the same time?? Of course the agency had no answers - except for the ones they had given us with Nikki. She might not be there, she might be gone, yadda yadda yadda. But we pressed on, determined not to be discouraged.

We soon discovered that we would be allowed to see Vika when we went to see Nikki. We were on cloud nine!! Of course - there was paper work galore, and we were somewhat disgusted with everything that we ended up having to do. Money this, money that, paper this, paper that. It was so time consuming, and if you didn't have everything just right, they would make you do everything all over again. Sometimes, even if you had everything all right, they would make you do it all over again anyways. We were exhausted before we even went.

The big day came. We were finally allowed to get our passports and travel to Moscow and then on to Stavropol. There are no words to even describe the way we were feeling. We had been asked by our agency to take take some papers to Stavropol with us, to give to the agency over there, for other children who were being adopted by them, We agreed. They sent us the papers, and off we went. Just before we reached the airport, one of the top folders fell open, and much to my surprise, there was a letter from the lady who had been in Stavropol to adopt Vika!! We couldn't believe it. She had to write a letter telling the Russian Federation why she didn't want to go through the adoption. She was from Utah (of all places) and there was a phone number for her. Of course I wrote it down. I felt like this was divine intervention so I could get information on a little girl who was about to become my daughter.

And that will continue to be another story...

Nikki

The year was 2004. Vinny and I already had eight kids between the two of us. Morgan was getting ready for his last year of high school. He was the last one standing. Dang it felt good. So - a life of ease and comfort sounded pretty darn good. Until...

We happened to be on the internet one day - and I was looking at some pictures of an orphanage in Stavropol, Russia. As I was going through the pictures, just looking and my heart aching for these children, suddendly I saw this girl. A beautiful girl with haunting eyes. She looked so scared and unsure. I could not look away from those eyes. Vinny and I had known a family that had adopted two little boys from Russia - but they were babies. And we were older. So, I had thought I would take a look. But to find that little girl that fast - was something that I really didn't expect.

The first thing I did was to call Vinny up from his office. At the time, he worked from home. I showed him the picture of this little girl - nine year old "Katja". He looked at her. And then he looked at me. "Could you love her?" he asked? The question burned deep into my heart. Could I? I kept looking at her, with tears in my eyes, pretty sure right then that I already did. Love is a funny thing you know. It can grab you by the heart when you are least expecting it.

Vinny and I really started talking seriously about adopting. I kept looking at that little girl every day. We told our grown children, and got mixed reviews. "Oh, you are too old", we were told. Others told us that we had enough kids and didn't need anymore. All were valid points, and we listened to all. One earnestly told us that they would support us through anything we wanted to do.

So, we started to pray. And to fast. We prayed and fasted for a long time. We went to the Temple and poured our hearts out to Heavenly Father about adoption. We started wondering if we were talking ourselves into something. And then the miracle came.

We were sitting in church a few Sundays later, and it was a combined Relief Society and Priesthood meeting. We were watching a video. President Hinckley was speaking, and it was all about adoption!! Most of it was about babies, but he ended it with something like "if you have room in your hearts to adopt, and the means to do so - I would encourage all that can to adopt."

Vinny and I sat there with tears streaming down our faces. We had been told. Now, it was time to find out if that hauntingly
beautiful girl on the computer was real, if she was really up for adoption. We started calling the adoption agency listed the next day. They carefully explained that the picture was maybe a year old, and maybe someone had already adopted her, and it could be possible that she was just there for a camera picture to show that children are there for adoption.

I knew different. I felt it in my heart. Many nights, as I looked at her, my heart would literally ache, wondering -is she cold, is she hungry? Did she have a bed to sleep in?? She was so thin in her picture, and even though they had tried to "dress her up" with a dress and a doll, you could tell the conditions around her were not good. I worried over her.

We started the adoption proceedings. We knew that this was going to be a long journey. We were told it would take up to two years at the longest. And - at worst, we could get there, and she would be gone. The prayers to Heavenly Father were daily and intense on her behalf.

Then, another miracle. Somehow, someone at the adoption agency got someone from Russia to send some more pictures of this little girl!! We were so excited!! They told us to be cautious, but we threw caution to the wind, and we delighted in the pure joy of seeing more of her! We also noticed that there were a few pictures of her that showed her with another girl. We had no clue who that was, but we were so happy to see this little girl.

We talked about names for her. If the adoption went through, would she want to change her name? We were already calling her Nikki. I don't know why - we just were. She was our Nikki bug, and thats all there was to it.

So the real test started. Paper work and paper work and paper work. It was unending and unnerving. There were times we honestly felt like giving up - there was so much red tape on BOTH sides of the two countries. The money involved was ridiculous, and everyone and their attorney wanted paycheck after paycheck after payckheck. Sometimes it was a pure mess, and required all day work. Vinny had the brunt of this part of the operation, and I stood by his side and cheered him on. We carefully tried to make sure every single paper was done correctly, but at times got very discouraged, because they would send papers back to us. Who were "they"? The government, the agency, the Russian Federation. All over a little nine year old girl who just needed a family to love her. What had we gotton ourselves into?

The process had started in March. We really pushed and pushed the agency. I think they got tired of my endless calls.. reminding them of this or that, or asking impatienly for things I knew they couldn't do for me right then. I was like a lion, trying to protect her cubs.

We were finally told that sometime in June or July we would be able to fly over there for our first visit to Russia to see the orphanges. They were VERY careful to explain that maybe Nikki would not be there, that there would be many orphanages to see, and many children to choose from. We would be flying into Moscow, and from there take a three hour flight into Stavropol, Russia. From there, we would drive a three hour drive to a town called Bohlsha Dolhgah. We were delirious with joy. FINALLY! And March to June was NOT a long time. Our friends who had adopted the two little boys were amazed. They didn't get their first trip for months and months. Through our journey with the adoption agency we had met other couples adopting, and they had been waiting a very long time. They were all shocked and happy at our news!

I went on a wild spending spree, buying clothes for this nine year old who looked like she was six. I bought shoes. I had no idea what size she was - so I guessed. I bought her some toys.. some hair pieces, and things like that. I was on cloud nine. I was already starting to pack, and we weren't even leaving for about six weeks.

So, six weeks before we left, as usual, I was sitting on the internet looking at this sweet angel's face again, and suddenly, out of no where, (literally) up popped this tiny, beautiful, scared to death, blonde, hazel eyed six year old. She had bruises everywhere. I gasped. The poor thing looked like she wanted to bolt. Like she trusted no one. "Get off the computer, Dana", my mind said... but I couldn't. All I could do was call Vinny. He would be home in fifteen minutes he said.

And that.. starts a whole different story.