Finally seeing the girls before they become officially ours - and two more girls who literally broke my heart.

We got to spend a lot of time with Cami that day. We played ball with her outside the orphanage, and she was so happy. She was excited, and seemed to understand what was going on. During this time, one of her instructers came and got her and explained to her again that she would be going with us. She got a bit weepy again - but quickly overcame it. We just had too much fun.

We were taken into the Director's office, where they waited for "money". It was custom for them to receive a token of appreciation for an adoption. We were told Cami would not be able to spend the night with us, like we had hoped, and we were not very happy about that. What helped us was knowing she was about seven days away from being ours.

Saying goodbye to her was bittersweet once more, but this time I was at least there, and knew she would be going home with us. So we returned to the hotel to talk about our adventures of the day, and to do some site seeing in Stavropole. It was fun taking Mom and showing her the sites. We found where the church would be held on Sunday and determined to take the girls to church with us.

We would be on our way to Bolsha Dolhgha in the morning to collect Nikki and Aliana. Technically - they didn't have to release them until the day of court - but it was a three hour ride both ways - so we prayed fervently that they would release the girls to us that next day. We were so frustrated. We waited until about three or four pm until they finally took us to see our girls. Alex had us stopping at a bunch of orphanages dropping of paperwork. That will forever haunt me. We saw rows and rows of children "lying down, taking naps" on cots - up to the age of about fourteen. (We had to use the bathroom - and were directed to a couple of holes in the ground while we waited for Alex.) We were a bit put out with him because we could have been with the girls - and it seemed he just had too many other things he tried to tie in the day with. UGH. Finally - we were off.

As we finally got close to the familiar looking village - seriously looked like "fiddler on the roof", some ducks ran out into the road. Alex the driver did not stop or miss a beat. He hit one, feathers were flying every where. Someone had duck for dinner that night! People from the village saw us coming and started coming out of the houses, and walking to the orphanage. Suddenly, we were greeted with a yell, and a HUGE company of children running towards us, waving. I couldn't see Nikki or Aliana yet, but there were so many children!! As we slowed down, and got out of the van, I looked around, and finally I saw something that I will never forget. I saw the two of the most beautiful girls running towards me as fast as they could, hair in french braids, faces rubbed as clean as they could be, all in old but clean clothes that matched one another. I held my arms out, and Nikki made it first, diving head first into me and just holding on for dear life. Aliana was a close second, with tears running, and much hugs and kisses. I introduced them to Babushka, who in turn was crying. "Pops" as they called Vinny - also got his share of hugs and kisses. We were tugged and pulled into the orphanage, and there sat the PIANO!!! They were all shouting at me to play it - in Russian of course. Alex translated, and I obliged them. I played everything I knew, and they seemed to be a captive audience. Suddenly - two little girls around nine years old, (Vika and Nastia) grabbed me, and tugged my shirt. They shyly pulled me away, and gave me two of the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen in my life. I remembered them from the first time I had been to the orphanage. They had been shy - but hopeful. They remained by my side ever so much. So now, I hugged them close to me, and told them thank you - "Spaciba". And - broken Russian - I love you, "Ya tya bila bleu" in Russian... I tried to hold them close, and to my utter heartbreaking saddness, they started to wail and moan, and ran as fast as they could, crying their hearts out. How they wanted to come home with me!!!!! I will NEVER forget that. I cried and cried and cried. For days and weeks and months after I saw their faces. I STILL think of them, and if I could go find them, I WOULD. All they want is a Mama and a Papa, with a family to love!!!! It makes me so so sad..

More to come...

The time has come!!

So now the time has come. We are so excited we can't stand it. Mom flew in from Utah, and then we flew to NYC. We flew from JFK to Moscow. What a hectic airport that was!! It was tension filled, and we were so ready to go, but almost frantic, hoping we hadn't forgotten one thing. After many hours, and a delay, we finally were in the air.

I reflected back on the seven months that had started and been this process. What once had seemed an eternity, now was flying by me - going ever so fast. I was amazed. Could this really be happening?? Was I really about to become the mother to three little girls?

After many long hours, we finally made it to Moscow. It was as the same as before, where we had to wait in line for our passports to be recorded. It took hours. Sergey was there again to help us and transport us back and forth to hotels. We stayed in Moscow for a day and a half. He made sure we got checked in again to the Marriott hotel. We were exhausted, but we went and saw Lenin's tomb, and Kremlin's Square - changing of the guards, etc. Mom was such a champ. Remember, she had just had shots in her back, and I was worried about her. I truly tried to be there for her every need.

We got Mom her own suite so she could have her own privacy. We were so excited that night. Vinny and I talked late into the night - it was magical. We were so thankful to be there, and so anxious to see the girls. We would get to see Cami in the morning,

We nervously boarded those small crappy planes again in the morning. Sergey was there to big us goodbye. We had so much luggage it was hard to sit in his car. We were packed like sardines. The three hour flight was un-eventful.

We got to Stavropol bright and early and Alex and Mike were there to meet us again. We were immediately taken to our hotel - a different one than we had stayed at before - with a little suite for Mom. It was perfect. We waited about an hour, and then they came to get us to take us to see Cami.

We got to her orphanage, and I was so so excited. I talk WAY too much and way too fast when I am excited and that day was no different. I had to silently remind myself several times to SLOW down as we waited for her. We were finally ushered in to see the Director. The Director was stuffy and cold. She took her sweet time and we waited anxiously - and I was hot - sweating again because of no air conditioning. Finally - Alex told us they sent for Cami.

A few minutes later, Cami came RUNNING into the room. She was scolded to slow down, but I held my arms out, and she ran to them. I had tears and hugged her. She grinned a toothy grin, several teeth were loose. I looked at my Mom - she was crying. "Vika" I said. "Babushka". (grandmother). Cami jumped up - ran to my Mother, and snuggled right in her lap. That was it. The bond was instantly and forever made. It was one of the sweetest moments of my llife. Cami and my Mother adored each other instantly. I was such a blubbering fool. But a happy one at that.

So much more to write....

Miracles of Miracles!!!!

I ended up going to Utah Sept 2nd, 2003. Casey and Whitney bought me a ticket to go out and see them and surprise everyone. It was really fun - except that I surprised my dear mother who had just had her 35 prolotherapy shots in her back. She was so happy to see me, that when she stood up, she almost fainted. I felt so bad. But it was a great fun time and I was so happy for the opportunity to be out there with my kids and family.

While I was in Utah- Vinny ended up in the hospital with severe muscle spasms in his back. He had them so bad that he couldn't even move! I felt helpless - I couldn't be home for a couple of days. But I was glad Morgan was with him.

So - then another tragedy strikes. Terrorists again in Russia (Chechnya) rush a school very similar to Aliana's and Nikki's, and hold it hostage for three days. It is like an oven in there. The pictures they send out of there are gruesome. The kids are so hot, they are taking their clothes off. Some have already died. At the end of three days, 350 people, mostly children have died. This is not too far from where my girls are. I am sick with worry. Once again I am on my knees, pleading with my Heavenly Father for a court date to get those girls out of Russia. I was able to go to the Temple in Utah - much prayers were offered there. I don't understand why people in this world have to be so cruel, so mean. so heartless?!! During this whole procedure, I have felt an urgency to get those girls out of Russia as soon as possible. I don't know why. I just have.

Even though i love being in Utah, my heart was in Virginia with Vinny and Morgan. I was really worried about hm. I got back home, and we got Vinny well. We were still waiting for our court date. We kept praying with urgency. We felt like we were really getting down to the wire.

AND THEN!!!

MIRACLES OF MIRACLES!!!

WE GET OUR COURT DATE!!!!

We travel to Russia on September 22 - with a court date of Sept 27th, and the girls will be ours!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU, HEAVENLY FATHER!!! Suddenly, we are like giddy teenagers, racing against the clock, running to get everything in order. We had to have every piece of clothing, every visa - every EVERYTHING ready for those girls. I was beyond elated. We were going to become parents again!!

We called the girls on Sept 11th and let them know that we were finally coming. They seemed excited, and scared. A perfect reaction. I had the worst headaches that week. The stress of it all was incredible.

I am so grateful - the time is at hand. We go to London first - then on to Moscow. Once again, we ask, Heavenly Father, to please bless and protect us.


Just writing -

Fighting
Why?
Terrorists
Why
Why now?
When I want nothing more
Than to travel
To Russia
For one purpose
My daughters,
Yes, it's true they
Came from different
Mothers.
But America calls
The home of the free
The land of the brave
So,
For now,
Be Strong,
God is ever near - watching
O'r you
Until that
Glorious day
When five hearts
Will melt
Into
One heart
Your forever Father
And I
Love you so
And we will not be
Saparated again.
For we love you
More than life
And that's
One thing -
A Terrorist
Doesn't
Understand.


Ok - So now we bought the van for the girls - and we love it - hence the picture - and we are READY TO GO GET THE GIRLS!!!
YEEEEEEE HAAAAAAW!

Walk a mile in my shoes

While the waiting continued - I have to tell you what was going on in my life. Before we had decided to adopt the girls, I had to have bunion surgery - a simple procedure, correct? NOT. With me, my body seems to reject anything and everything that is done with and to it. So - I had to have surgery done twice. I had to have screws put in my foot - my foot rejected them. They ended up taking the screws out - and while they were at it- they operated on my pinky toe -(same foot- right foot) to take out a piece of the bone that I had broken a year before. BAD break. My foot just was not healing. I had to wear a foot boot for over a year - and then while waiting for the girls, I wore a foot shoe for eight months. To this day, my right foot is swollen, and larger than my other foot. Any way- I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to walk in Russia. How we fasted and prayed that my foot would heal before we left!!

I finally decided to get a second opinion. Vinny had left for an out of town meeting, and just Morgan and I were at home. I went to this new guy - and he gave me some steroid injection shots into my feet. I remember thinking :"OUCH" cause I'm such a baby anyways. HAHA. But on the 25 minute drive home - all of a sudden I had horrific pains shooting down my leg- to the point that I thought I was going to have to pull over. By the time I got home, I was crying like there was no tomorrow.

I have never felt such pain in my life. Well, yes, I probably have. I have lived in chronic pain most of my adult life... but that's another story in and of it'self. But at that particular time, it was so bad, it was like I couldn't breathe. I was so panicked. Vinny wasn't home, and I knew I needed the priesthood. I called my home teacher, Brother Whitesides, and he immediately came with someone, I don't remember who. But I do remember the blessing. In the blessing, he commanded my body to heal instantly, and told me that my body was to be preserved at this time, that I had children to raise yet on this continent and another! His words were so powerful. I understood instantly how sick I was - and how much my Heavenly Father loved me!

I went to the hospital - I was told my adrenal glands had started to shut down - but that for some reason (and they were very perplexed)... they were working now - and I was very sick - but I would be ok. I cried, but I cried because I felt the power of the priesthood. Morgan needed me, my children who were moved out - married or not needed me - and my soon to be new daughters needed me. I was told this could have been potentially fatal. I was shaking so hard. I have never felt that bad. Well - then again.... lol... Thank you, Heavenly Father.

In the days that followed we did have all our paperwork approved and we were just playing the waiting game. I wrote down some thoughts that I had at this time in my journal.

"Heavenly Father, please bless me to continue to heal, that I might go get our daughters as soon as time permits. Let it be speedy. Let no acts of terrorism mar our way, that we may travel with full safety and assurance. These precious girls need us, and I need them. They need their brothers and their sisters here, their grandma and grandpa, their granddad and nana.
Such changes. I pray for Amy (my daughter in law) to be healthy with this new baby she is carrying. How precious is this new life!

Heavenly Father, I beseech thee - to heal this illness that has me bound. I want to be well for the girls. I want to be their mother. I want to raise them. I want to teach them correct gospel principles. I want to liven with my Vinny - with Morgan and do good things.

The very next day - two Russian airliners crahsed outside Moscow. This was Aug 25 2003. They were the planes like we were on when we flew to Stavropol. It was determined it was an act of terrorism. (It was interesting that just the day before in my journal I had wrote about not worrying about terrorism.) We are not going to let us determine that this will halt our trip in any way. We grieve for the families - but realize that these daughters are ours, and we need to bring them home."

It is interesting to me to go back and read these journal entries.