Walk a mile in my shoes

While the waiting continued - I have to tell you what was going on in my life. Before we had decided to adopt the girls, I had to have bunion surgery - a simple procedure, correct? NOT. With me, my body seems to reject anything and everything that is done with and to it. So - I had to have surgery done twice. I had to have screws put in my foot - my foot rejected them. They ended up taking the screws out - and while they were at it- they operated on my pinky toe -(same foot- right foot) to take out a piece of the bone that I had broken a year before. BAD break. My foot just was not healing. I had to wear a foot boot for over a year - and then while waiting for the girls, I wore a foot shoe for eight months. To this day, my right foot is swollen, and larger than my other foot. Any way- I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to walk in Russia. How we fasted and prayed that my foot would heal before we left!!

I finally decided to get a second opinion. Vinny had left for an out of town meeting, and just Morgan and I were at home. I went to this new guy - and he gave me some steroid injection shots into my feet. I remember thinking :"OUCH" cause I'm such a baby anyways. HAHA. But on the 25 minute drive home - all of a sudden I had horrific pains shooting down my leg- to the point that I thought I was going to have to pull over. By the time I got home, I was crying like there was no tomorrow.

I have never felt such pain in my life. Well, yes, I probably have. I have lived in chronic pain most of my adult life... but that's another story in and of it'self. But at that particular time, it was so bad, it was like I couldn't breathe. I was so panicked. Vinny wasn't home, and I knew I needed the priesthood. I called my home teacher, Brother Whitesides, and he immediately came with someone, I don't remember who. But I do remember the blessing. In the blessing, he commanded my body to heal instantly, and told me that my body was to be preserved at this time, that I had children to raise yet on this continent and another! His words were so powerful. I understood instantly how sick I was - and how much my Heavenly Father loved me!

I went to the hospital - I was told my adrenal glands had started to shut down - but that for some reason (and they were very perplexed)... they were working now - and I was very sick - but I would be ok. I cried, but I cried because I felt the power of the priesthood. Morgan needed me, my children who were moved out - married or not needed me - and my soon to be new daughters needed me. I was told this could have been potentially fatal. I was shaking so hard. I have never felt that bad. Well - then again.... lol... Thank you, Heavenly Father.

In the days that followed we did have all our paperwork approved and we were just playing the waiting game. I wrote down some thoughts that I had at this time in my journal.

"Heavenly Father, please bless me to continue to heal, that I might go get our daughters as soon as time permits. Let it be speedy. Let no acts of terrorism mar our way, that we may travel with full safety and assurance. These precious girls need us, and I need them. They need their brothers and their sisters here, their grandma and grandpa, their granddad and nana.
Such changes. I pray for Amy (my daughter in law) to be healthy with this new baby she is carrying. How precious is this new life!

Heavenly Father, I beseech thee - to heal this illness that has me bound. I want to be well for the girls. I want to be their mother. I want to raise them. I want to teach them correct gospel principles. I want to liven with my Vinny - with Morgan and do good things.

The very next day - two Russian airliners crahsed outside Moscow. This was Aug 25 2003. They were the planes like we were on when we flew to Stavropol. It was determined it was an act of terrorism. (It was interesting that just the day before in my journal I had wrote about not worrying about terrorism.) We are not going to let us determine that this will halt our trip in any way. We grieve for the families - but realize that these daughters are ours, and we need to bring them home."

It is interesting to me to go back and read these journal entries.