Today was the day!! This was the day of all days! As excited as I had been to meet my daughter Cami, I was just as excited to meet the little angel who had called me half way around the world. I breathed deep and tried to remained composed. I was just so darn excited!! It was a three hour drive from Stavropol to a little town called Bolsha Dohlgah. I remember Alex the driver driving ever so fast. We went out of the city, and suddendly we were just surrounded by nothing. It was if we had once again discovered a place that was so different, so old.. I really don't know how to explain it. But - it was interesting scenery, and there was certainly much to talk about on the way there, and talk we did. We talked about Cami- and the experience there. One of the experiences I forgot to write in the last blog was that in Cami's orphanage, before we left to take her for the day, we had been sitting waiting for her in a gymnasium. She was brought to us, and she was like a little monkey, climbing ropes, jumping here to there, and all very impressive. They had a very old piano in the room, and she went over and started to softly bang on it. I know - an oxymoron? But she was trying to be quiet because they didn't want her to play it. Well, me and my stubborness attitude... I walked over, and picked her up, sat her on my lap, and played "falling in love with you" I sang it to her ever so soft, and she listened so intently. She watched in fascination as my fingers went up and down on the piano - and then she tried to copy them. It was one of the sweetest moments I have ever had in my life. To this day, that song is me and Cami's song.
At any rate - talking of Cami - and being excited to see Nikki - was really exciting. I remember it being SO hot. The van didn't have an air conditioner in it, nor did the hotel. I had severe hot flashes and was very uncomfortable. My feet were getting swollen. The ride grew harder and harder. And then Suddenly. Another step back into time. We drove into a very small remote village. I felt like I was in the nineteen thirties or nineteen forties, or in some parts, in the musical, "Fiddler On the Roof"!
We saw big wagons overflowing with wheat, cows,donkeys etc. The women had old sunworn scarves on their heads. We pulled up to the orphanage, and I wasn't prepared at all for what was coming. Oh, let me go back a bit. On the way to the orphanage, Alex, our driver, informed us that Katja (Nikki) had two sisters!!!! THERE! We were dumbfounded and shocked beyond belief. We knew she had siblings by reading all her reports, but had no clue where they were at. We had repeatedly asked our adoption agency for information about them for about three or four months and they kept telling us that they had no idea where her sisters were. We were so taken back - I have a better word. I WAS ANGRY. Why didn't they tell us?? It left a lot of unanswered questions, and now, just as we were getting there, we get the biggest surprise of our trip.
The next thing that left me completely unprepared, was the children that came out. They were teenagers. TEENAGERS. We were greeted with a lot of curiousity. It was unfortunatly for me, very very hot. The building was so old, parts of it looked as if it were falling apart, or had been for quite some time. Many of the youth "checked us out". The building had cement floors - cement walls, it was void of pictures and smelled of aniseptic of some sort, and you could hear some noises from children far from us. The ones around us whispered and giggled and pointed. We were finally invited into the directors office. My little Nikki was already sitting there. My heart was captivated immediately. She was older looking and her hair had grown out from the pictures I have of her. She was so very small, but had the face of an angel! I held my arms out to her, and she came to me. She was very shy, but she cuddled right up on my lap. She had me hook, line and sinker. Compared to Cami - who is very headstrong, a leader, type A personality, stubborn, etc (I could already tell that), Nikki was very quiet, sweet, almost painfully shy. She had a hot wool skirt on, that was so so old. She had an old rag of a shirt on. My heart ached for her, she looked like a ragamuffin and rightfully so.
They finally took us to a room, and went and got Nikki's sisters, Svet, and Natasha. Both sisters have different fathers than Nikki from what the director said. Nikki isn't that close to either of them, but they wouldn't leave her side, and vice versa. In fact, Svet, who was about fifteen at the time, would put her arm through mine and call me "mamma". It broke my heart. Vinny and I had decided we didn't want to go over ten years of age, because of any problems of older children and the possibility of not being able to mold and teach them in a structuered family inviroment. At any rate, it still broke my heart. Natasha really didn't seem to care that we were there, other than the fact that we had a suitcase for Nikki. I tried to tell Michael, our translator to tell the girls that I did not know that they would be there or I would have brought things for them also. I did break up a few gifts of Nikki's between the two sisters, and they seemed to be happy with that, but obviously rightfully so, they were jealous.
I showed Nikki that I kept a picture of her around my neck in a locket, and she smiled so sweet. She didn't talk for awhile, just "dah" (yes) to any questions. She had the cutest little voice ever. It was lower and sleepy sounding, adding to her charm. Vinny left the room so she could change into one of her new outfits. I was delighted to hear her jabber and just talk like crazy. I would point and show her things, and she would talk like she was ansewring back. She changed into her new clothes, without hesitation or reservation. She loved her cookie monster undershirt as did Cami when I gave her one. It was so cute though, she didn't seem to understand that this was to go on under a shirt, and so everytime I would hand her a top, she would take of the cookie monster shirt, and then I would say "nyet" (no) and she would put it back on - we were laughing so. Finally - I just let her keep the undershirt on - it was so hot out anyways, it probably felt so good after that woolen skirt she had on.
I had been sweating profusely the whole day. I almost felt like I was having a little bit of heat exhaustion. I had brought a little fan, battery operated, and hand held to help me cool down some. Nikki was entranced by it. Also - both girls had been given new shoes. Cami's had lit up on the sides. When I had gone to help Nikki put her shoes on, I caught my breath. The poor little waif had the worst bunions I have ever seen on ANYONE. Her poor little feet were so bad. I later found out when she was able to communicate, that she was forced to wear shoes that never fit her, and got used to not saying anything (the quiet girl that she was) She just sat back and never said anything - but they didn't have a lot of shoes anyways. I did find out later (and you will find that out in new posts) that some children were very A personality and got what they wanted, and made sure they were the "survivor" ones. Nikki had just let herself fall to the wayside, as if it didn't matter to her what she wanted. For once I let her know that it was OK and that I wanted her to have the world. She meant that much to me.
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